i wonder sometimes whether the statement 'provide good service' which they repeat over and over again means sucking up to the customer to the extend til bending down to lick their toes for them when ordered.
when a simple word like c-o-m-p-t-r-o-l-l-e-r was repeated for more than 10 over times, and the other party STILL cannot get it despite being english educated, what does it mean?
mind you, i spelt it out.
despite having repeat in a vvveerrrryyy sslllloooowwww pace, just hoping SHE is able to catch the oh-so-difficult 11-lettered word (omg!! more than 10 letters!! so long!)
she said i was irritating!! so sad!! =(
oh so u asked for my NAME and wanna WRITE A LETTER on my IRRITATING behaviour? why dun you tune your mind faster so you wun irritate others instead? huh??? or did pregnancy slow u down? huh????
you know what? i dont care, when i m angry i will curse that said person til death.
and i MEAN it. seriously mean it.
i know i may appear angry and super unreasonable now. and all you may wonder when did me become such a vengeful person now?
sorry ok? some of you may not have been spoken to in e face like what that mad woman said to me in MY face. so you dont know what it really feels.
and sorry to post only ANGRY blog post nowadays. maybe i should just make this place private and only i see what i vent. as there are also not many happy things happening to me anyway.
ya.. the happy ger i used to be is gone ever since like 4 months ago? someday i will just drown in unhappiness and just disappear from world, not like ANYONE will miss me.
i m up for providing fantastic service anytime, but not to the extend of sucking up to them and demeaning myself. tts an insult, not service.
til next time if you find this url no longer valid meaning i decided to stop depressing you ppl with my angry and hateful thoughts. maybe til 3 long years later when the happy me which is hidden deep deep inside is able to come out to light again then i shall open up again and blog like what you happy and joyous ppl do.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
ok. i told myself yest not to touch the container of snacks in the cardboard, but then jus nw.. i cant help it.
not coz of my boredom that i snacked, but just tt i snacked coz i was too pissed off.
jus some blah issues in the office..
i know my thots are quite out of point and complicated sometimes, but e meaning i trying to get across shouldnt be THAT difficult to understand right? sometimes we just need to THINK outta the box and we could all get what we all want.
i hate to repeat things. esp when i am having my period.
b.y.e.
not coz of my boredom that i snacked, but just tt i snacked coz i was too pissed off.
jus some blah issues in the office..
i know my thots are quite out of point and complicated sometimes, but e meaning i trying to get across shouldnt be THAT difficult to understand right? sometimes we just need to THINK outta the box and we could all get what we all want.
i hate to repeat things. esp when i am having my period.
b.y.e.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
proud
Am proud of myself luh.. Hiak!
Coz I came to work today despite the heavy rain.
considering wanna take half day anot, coz I cant afford to take anymore MC.
work 6 months with 8 days of MC?!!?!
I is slacker. in the end i did come to work at 8am.
YAY!!! I AM MEETING BUDDIES FOR STARDUST LATERRR!!!
YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!
and i wore my flip flops to work!!
told ya, I is slacker.
so sian huh, gonna be top 20 for internet surfing again for this month i tell u!
shit.. maybe i shall go flip the tax act or sth and keep my itchy hands off the mozilla..
*sulks*
see ya buddies laterrrrrr..
*SULKS*
Coz I came to work today despite the heavy rain.
considering wanna take half day anot, coz I cant afford to take anymore MC.
work 6 months with 8 days of MC?!!?!
I is slacker. in the end i did come to work at 8am.
YAY!!! I AM MEETING BUDDIES FOR STARDUST LATERRR!!!
YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!
and i wore my flip flops to work!!
told ya, I is slacker.
so sian huh, gonna be top 20 for internet surfing again for this month i tell u!
shit.. maybe i shall go flip the tax act or sth and keep my itchy hands off the mozilla..
*sulks*
see ya buddies laterrrrrr..
*SULKS*
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Sigh...
Yay!! It's winter again meaning...
Meltykisses are out again!! Yummy.. out in watsons at $3.60 for a small box!
Go get them! Dont buy the raspberry flavored one, taste horrible.. I love the green tea! muaha.
So sian loh, such nice chocolates only limited for winter time!! Boo.
Anyway, I am really damn sian. Not really coz of work leh.. ugrh, my eye is twitching...... BAH.
Yay!! It's winter again meaning...
Meltykisses are out again!! Yummy.. out in watsons at $3.60 for a small box!
Go get them! Dont buy the raspberry flavored one, taste horrible.. I love the green tea! muaha.
So sian loh, such nice chocolates only limited for winter time!! Boo.
Anyway, I am really damn sian. Not really coz of work leh.. ugrh, my eye is twitching...... BAH.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Urgh. my left feet got 2 bubbles, and a big round wound. The big round wound looks like someone had used a shaver and shaved my skin. sama for my right feet.
all thanks to the pair of fucking jellies!!!
humph... i offically hates jellies now!! pretty... but.... BBBBBBBAAAAAAAAHHH!
luckily i got it cheap.. humph!! gers, DONT BUY JELLIES OK! they are evil.. =(
silly me left my ipod in the office, and i cant listen to my jay chou on mp3 ! urgh..
it's 12 midnight... and still nothing.. i m getting seriously worried.. *sigh*
all thanks to the pair of fucking jellies!!!
humph... i offically hates jellies now!! pretty... but.... BBBBBBBAAAAAAAAHHH!
luckily i got it cheap.. humph!! gers, DONT BUY JELLIES OK! they are evil.. =(
silly me left my ipod in the office, and i cant listen to my jay chou on mp3 ! urgh..
it's 12 midnight... and still nothing.. i m getting seriously worried.. *sigh*
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Life, has been pissing me off endlessly for quite some time alr.
Stress? No, I dont think so that's the reason. I think given anyone whom face so much pressure from everywhere, everyside and everybody for like almost since you are up til you sleep is enough to make that person flip!
Seriously, i am sick of those
jin hui here.... jin hui there.....
jinhui THIS
jinhui THAT
and when i DO NOT comply. I am deemed as ATTITUDE, UNHELPFUL, IMPATIENT, SELF-CENTERED.
EVERY SINGLE DAY, i get ppl coming to me not knowing what they want and actually think that I can give them WHATEVER they want. What's worse? These ppl got NO basic manners, dont their mother even teach them when you ASK for something, even if you dont say the word 'PLEASE' at least keep your tone of your voice acceptable. As you talk to these ppl everyday, as long as these ppl speaks with a normal tone alr very happy liao.
Like today, i dun really mind if i get rubbish from external sources, but what bout ppl from internal of the organisation?! this stupid woman does the same thing as me, after looking at her photo, i can conclude that she had been working for at least 8 years. This means that she is a lot more experience than me right?! NO!!! She gave such unclear and un-detailed information for such a simple and universal question and expects me to know what she wants? And this dumb person had the cheek to say, 'As I already told you jus now, so can u help me check?!?!!?!' She said it all in a sibeh rude and impatient way. And in the end, when I finally talk to the taxpayer myself, I settled it in like 3 mins???? And the question asked was really really just standard procedues that any temp staff can answer lor.
No wonder work so long liao still SAME POSITION AS ME. *shakes head*
When everyone expect you to be a 'yes-man', when at times you say the word 'no' they come chasing you with a knife and refuse to let you, and til the extend of breathing down your neck and leaving u no room to even BREATHE. I dont get it, I m not someone understanding, or neither am i capable of reading a person's mind. Or I am also not someone who will constantly think of how others are feeling, blah blah .. I cant do all that, its just not me to be so detailed and patient and careful.
As I think back, over the years, my expectations of things changed so drastically that I really do not know whether I am just trying to bend myself to fit in with the expectations ppl want from me.
but hey, why shld i be the one bending myself, i wonder sometimes. These years, i keep trying to live up to expectations but almost all the time when the situation is the other way round, I keep getting disappointed instead.
those above are not just work, they are just things from everywhere that are all bottled in for a long long long long time and i had never let them out before.
i dont know, i m really tired of ppl demanding this and that from me. I know for work its like that, but these are matters over a super long time and I never found a chance or way to say them out. Sometimes I jus feels like retreating back into my shell and ignore the world, and maybe doing things i want or jus seeing the ppl that i wanna see.
Thinking back from square one, i dont see the point of me getting upset at ppl whom are upset at me, actually i dont really care at all.........
Stress? No, I dont think so that's the reason. I think given anyone whom face so much pressure from everywhere, everyside and everybody for like almost since you are up til you sleep is enough to make that person flip!
Seriously, i am sick of those
jin hui here.... jin hui there.....
jinhui THIS
jinhui THAT
and when i DO NOT comply. I am deemed as ATTITUDE, UNHELPFUL, IMPATIENT, SELF-CENTERED.
EVERY SINGLE DAY, i get ppl coming to me not knowing what they want and actually think that I can give them WHATEVER they want. What's worse? These ppl got NO basic manners, dont their mother even teach them when you ASK for something, even if you dont say the word 'PLEASE' at least keep your tone of your voice acceptable. As you talk to these ppl everyday, as long as these ppl speaks with a normal tone alr very happy liao.
Like today, i dun really mind if i get rubbish from external sources, but what bout ppl from internal of the organisation?! this stupid woman does the same thing as me, after looking at her photo, i can conclude that she had been working for at least 8 years. This means that she is a lot more experience than me right?! NO!!! She gave such unclear and un-detailed information for such a simple and universal question and expects me to know what she wants? And this dumb person had the cheek to say, 'As I already told you jus now, so can u help me check?!?!!?!' She said it all in a sibeh rude and impatient way. And in the end, when I finally talk to the taxpayer myself, I settled it in like 3 mins???? And the question asked was really really just standard procedues that any temp staff can answer lor.
No wonder work so long liao still SAME POSITION AS ME. *shakes head*
When everyone expect you to be a 'yes-man', when at times you say the word 'no' they come chasing you with a knife and refuse to let you, and til the extend of breathing down your neck and leaving u no room to even BREATHE. I dont get it, I m not someone understanding, or neither am i capable of reading a person's mind. Or I am also not someone who will constantly think of how others are feeling, blah blah .. I cant do all that, its just not me to be so detailed and patient and careful.
As I think back, over the years, my expectations of things changed so drastically that I really do not know whether I am just trying to bend myself to fit in with the expectations ppl want from me.
but hey, why shld i be the one bending myself, i wonder sometimes. These years, i keep trying to live up to expectations but almost all the time when the situation is the other way round, I keep getting disappointed instead.
those above are not just work, they are just things from everywhere that are all bottled in for a long long long long time and i had never let them out before.
i dont know, i m really tired of ppl demanding this and that from me. I know for work its like that, but these are matters over a super long time and I never found a chance or way to say them out. Sometimes I jus feels like retreating back into my shell and ignore the world, and maybe doing things i want or jus seeing the ppl that i wanna see.
Thinking back from square one, i dont see the point of me getting upset at ppl whom are upset at me, actually i dont really care at all.........
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
my grandma (paternal side) passed away,
thou am not close to her.. but still feels sad, she's family after all.
family from mum's side came for the wake.
chatted.
after all these years of being busy with my life,
i missed out too much of the things that are happening to my loved ones.
esp mum and dad...
dad is always finding new medicine on his own,
going to places recommended by others alone to get what he needs..
yet i m always not with him.
his legs are fine nw and he can walk ard on his own,
but i still go all sour when i see him taking buses instead of spending a bit more on cabs.
then i look at the amt i give him monthly... its far too little.
when can i provide for them like the way they had provided for me when i was little?
when can i ever achieve something fast enough so they can enjoy themselves sooner?
how come i can spend 9 bucks on cab in mornings when i slept late and cant wake up on time,
how come i can spend 10 over bucks for a meal,
how come i can spend 20 bucks on ktv,
how come i can spend and spend and spend on retail,
yet i cannot give them just a little more money every month??????
the card which i promised to apply for him months back, is still undone.
yet it could be done in just a few weeks time..
unfilial isnt it? i think i m beyond that alr........
i do care for them.. but havent done enough.
yet i m always worrying about things that are actually aint tt impt after all..
in work, and life we always meet different ppl,
some become friends, good friends, besties, lovers.....
but at the end of the day,
i can never care and love anyone else the way i love and care for my parents.
no one can ever tolerate my bad temper, my lousy character, my laziness, my nonsense, my everything for 20 whole years and never stop loving me, caring for me, thinking of me without me showing my appreciation whenever they do sth nice for me.
it's all about me taking them for granted,
sometimes when i go out early in the morning and comes back late at night, i dont even get to see them for one whole hour.
and when once in a while i see there are yet another few more strands of grey hair on their head due to worrying for me, all i do is hide in a corner and tear..
i hardly tells them where i go to everyday, when will i be home, what i m busy with, who am i with.....
when they ask too much, i say they are nagging.
its time for me to start enjoy their nags alr.
at the end of the day, they are 2 ppl which i can never ever find anywhere again.
coz many ppl doesnt have the same parents i have.
mine parents are different of yours,
and i m all they have,
they are all that i have too.
thou am not close to her.. but still feels sad, she's family after all.
family from mum's side came for the wake.
chatted.
after all these years of being busy with my life,
i missed out too much of the things that are happening to my loved ones.
esp mum and dad...
dad is always finding new medicine on his own,
going to places recommended by others alone to get what he needs..
yet i m always not with him.
his legs are fine nw and he can walk ard on his own,
but i still go all sour when i see him taking buses instead of spending a bit more on cabs.
then i look at the amt i give him monthly... its far too little.
when can i provide for them like the way they had provided for me when i was little?
when can i ever achieve something fast enough so they can enjoy themselves sooner?
how come i can spend 9 bucks on cab in mornings when i slept late and cant wake up on time,
how come i can spend 10 over bucks for a meal,
how come i can spend 20 bucks on ktv,
how come i can spend and spend and spend on retail,
yet i cannot give them just a little more money every month??????
the card which i promised to apply for him months back, is still undone.
yet it could be done in just a few weeks time..
unfilial isnt it? i think i m beyond that alr........
i do care for them.. but havent done enough.
yet i m always worrying about things that are actually aint tt impt after all..
in work, and life we always meet different ppl,
some become friends, good friends, besties, lovers.....
but at the end of the day,
i can never care and love anyone else the way i love and care for my parents.
no one can ever tolerate my bad temper, my lousy character, my laziness, my nonsense, my everything for 20 whole years and never stop loving me, caring for me, thinking of me without me showing my appreciation whenever they do sth nice for me.
it's all about me taking them for granted,
sometimes when i go out early in the morning and comes back late at night, i dont even get to see them for one whole hour.
and when once in a while i see there are yet another few more strands of grey hair on their head due to worrying for me, all i do is hide in a corner and tear..
i hardly tells them where i go to everyday, when will i be home, what i m busy with, who am i with.....
when they ask too much, i say they are nagging.
its time for me to start enjoy their nags alr.
at the end of the day, they are 2 ppl which i can never ever find anywhere again.
coz many ppl doesnt have the same parents i have.
mine parents are different of yours,
and i m all they have,
they are all that i have too.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
it's so depressing.
a cousin of mine got warded into the ward just opposite grandma's
urgh.
i've been visiting the hospital A LOT.
=/
AND O.M.G.
JAY CHOU'S COMING!!!
DID U SEE HIS NEW MV??!??!?!?!?!!? SO CUUUTTEEEEE!!!
I'M SO GG TO HIS CONCERT!!!!!!!!
URGH! WHO GOT OCBC CREDIT CARD!! I WAN PRIORITY BOOKING!!!
YAYAYAYA!! out with the BONKERS last fri!!!!
KTV is effing exp on friday nights. boo. no ktv. boo.
squeezed into this tiny room at this e2max place at cine.
watched ocean's thirteen. ahaha damn funny.
urgh. sleep time.
ok bye.
a cousin of mine got warded into the ward just opposite grandma's
urgh.
i've been visiting the hospital A LOT.
=/
AND O.M.G.
JAY CHOU'S COMING!!!
DID U SEE HIS NEW MV??!??!?!?!?!!? SO CUUUTTEEEEE!!!
I'M SO GG TO HIS CONCERT!!!!!!!!
URGH! WHO GOT OCBC CREDIT CARD!! I WAN PRIORITY BOOKING!!!
YAYAYAYA!! out with the BONKERS last fri!!!!
KTV is effing exp on friday nights. boo. no ktv. boo.
squeezed into this tiny room at this e2max place at cine.
watched ocean's thirteen. ahaha damn funny.
urgh. sleep time.
ok bye.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Sunday, October 7, 2007
my life is damn bimbotic nowadays..
i m hardly doing anything constructive these days!! help..
er. everyday consist of eating, shopping online and working.
i canot talk online... cannot check email onli
spam me! send me chain emails! floooooodddd meee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how's life ppl, update me ok?!
tralalala...
work again tml..
i m hardly doing anything constructive these days!! help..
er. everyday consist of eating, shopping online and working.
i canot talk online... cannot check email onli
spam me! send me chain emails! floooooodddd meee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how's life ppl, update me ok?!
tralalala...
work again tml..
Friday, September 28, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Saturday, September 8, 2007
after all the times, life's stable nw.
nonetheless, everything still sticking to the same old routine, but actually i did enjoy it more now.
been happier, better-tempered, not lost at the moment.
nothing can be in full happiness, it's all bout give and take. i get happinesss, i must give some too.
but it seems i keep getting but not giving. thou i tried.. but still tt 'dont care' song kept surfacing. seriously, i m getting turned off by that alr. it keeps replaying itself in my head. it just makes me wanna yell 'I NEVER DONT CARE I NEVER DONT CARE !!!!!!!" Repeatly.., and shake that person hard on e shoulder to get the msg inside the head.
the bottom line is.. if i dont care, i wun even be here............................
sian. happy day still ended this way.
it makes me doesnt wanna think of tomorrow.............
you dont know how much it hurts when u play that damn song, til i wish the person who wrote that song never fucking exist.
nonetheless, everything still sticking to the same old routine, but actually i did enjoy it more now.
been happier, better-tempered, not lost at the moment.
nothing can be in full happiness, it's all bout give and take. i get happinesss, i must give some too.
but it seems i keep getting but not giving. thou i tried.. but still tt 'dont care' song kept surfacing. seriously, i m getting turned off by that alr. it keeps replaying itself in my head. it just makes me wanna yell 'I NEVER DONT CARE I NEVER DONT CARE !!!!!!!" Repeatly.., and shake that person hard on e shoulder to get the msg inside the head.
the bottom line is.. if i dont care, i wun even be here............................
sian. happy day still ended this way.
it makes me doesnt wanna think of tomorrow.............
you dont know how much it hurts when u play that damn song, til i wish the person who wrote that song never fucking exist.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
days are passing v quickly these days
cant say it's a bad thing!
=)))
work.
means shopping, visiting girly forums, buying masks, and snacking on every possible edible stuff i can lay my hands on.
and of coz, all thanks to work, i can scold vulgarities naturally, smoothly, fluently..
fi scolded the coolest 'knn' i ever heard today!! my gosh!!
ok.. i shall stop being ah lian.
i wan shopping.. MORE SHOPPING.
and i wan start on my studying soon...... real freaking soon..
cant say it's a bad thing!
=)))
work.
means shopping, visiting girly forums, buying masks, and snacking on every possible edible stuff i can lay my hands on.
and of coz, all thanks to work, i can scold vulgarities naturally, smoothly, fluently..
fi scolded the coolest 'knn' i ever heard today!! my gosh!!
ok.. i shall stop being ah lian.
i wan shopping.. MORE SHOPPING.
and i wan start on my studying soon...... real freaking soon..
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
okay... my 2nd day of mc this week, another one tml.
oh i love 2 days work week.
hadnt had a good night of sleep for days alr.
and docs all says i m not tired enough..
crap.. how can i be not tired enough?
anyhow..
seriously i canot drag on my dieting plans alr. i dont wanna look like a piece of lard beside slim, fit and well-toned ppl!!
=))))))) i m going to wild wild wet this sun! yay!
oh i love 2 days work week.
hadnt had a good night of sleep for days alr.
and docs all says i m not tired enough..
crap.. how can i be not tired enough?
anyhow..
seriously i canot drag on my dieting plans alr. i dont wanna look like a piece of lard beside slim, fit and well-toned ppl!!
=))))))) i m going to wild wild wet this sun! yay!
Monday, August 20, 2007
my god
oh my mother!!!!
I LOVE JAY!!!
i mean zhou jie lun...
he's blardy talented can!!!!!!
goshhhh..... zhou dong..
I LOVE JAY!!!
i mean zhou jie lun...
he's blardy talented can!!!!!!
goshhhh..... zhou dong..
Sunday, August 19, 2007
hmm.. many ppl are sick ard me.. pls all of u get better soon.
looking for a friend. must be whom i know personally..
to work part time. but MUST be serious bout it and willing to commit/work at least for more than half a year.. its really urgent! dont have to worry if e job is hard or colleagues there are hard to get along with. coz i had been workign there for a long time before and the ppl there are really really nice. job scope wise can let u learn a lot and things are not tt difficult as it seems.
as long as willing to learn with a positive attitude, boss WILL NOT kui dai u!
salary needless to say will be higher than ur typical part time job, plus 1.5 rate counted for every 15 mins of overtime u work. many many perks and extra bonuses for good workers.
come to me ok. pls.. really urgert.. work time in evening or weekends. but negotiable of coz. but dont intro to fren's fren coz i gave word to say i must know the person personally so that i know whether the person is suitable not.
lastly, females only.
thanks.
headache, urge to puke, giddy spells, feeling no appetite.. and terribly broke.
hai tt's life. tml's the start of another week of talking non stop for 8 hours per day.
looking for a friend. must be whom i know personally..
to work part time. but MUST be serious bout it and willing to commit/work at least for more than half a year.. its really urgent! dont have to worry if e job is hard or colleagues there are hard to get along with. coz i had been workign there for a long time before and the ppl there are really really nice. job scope wise can let u learn a lot and things are not tt difficult as it seems.
as long as willing to learn with a positive attitude, boss WILL NOT kui dai u!
salary needless to say will be higher than ur typical part time job, plus 1.5 rate counted for every 15 mins of overtime u work. many many perks and extra bonuses for good workers.
come to me ok. pls.. really urgert.. work time in evening or weekends. but negotiable of coz. but dont intro to fren's fren coz i gave word to say i must know the person personally so that i know whether the person is suitable not.
lastly, females only.
thanks.
headache, urge to puke, giddy spells, feeling no appetite.. and terribly broke.
hai tt's life. tml's the start of another week of talking non stop for 8 hours per day.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
its all lies.. nth is true..
as always in such a short span of time, things tt used to be so firmly expressed out can be changed just like that.
sometimes i just wonder y........................
liars
u lied.
u lied. and even u also lied..
excuses of lying.. sad, troubled.
and tts an exemption to sticking to the words 1st said?
lies. alllllll lies....
i hate liars...
its just a simple 'its all fake' can settle everything? and be ready to move on? so means all along everything are just all fake .. no wonder i m said to be a drama queen some times.. coz only i m thinking its all real.....
it was i who firmly believes and worries bout the consequenses.. despite all who had their doubts.. u shld know wat i m refering to.. for the past weeks, despite me telling myself ' dont be a fool, jinhui!'. in the end, i got the confirmation tt comes in the form of an mere email, it just kept going in circles ard me and in the end............... urgh.. this feeling is extraordinary.. like a big ball of sth tt i cant make out wat it is...
when can i ever get rid of the things going round and round me like many irritating flies .. urgh
til later.. til when i can exactly decide wat i shld be feeling.. which is good. another lose weight oppurtunity.
as always in such a short span of time, things tt used to be so firmly expressed out can be changed just like that.
sometimes i just wonder y........................
liars
u lied.
u lied. and even u also lied..
excuses of lying.. sad, troubled.
and tts an exemption to sticking to the words 1st said?
lies. alllllll lies....
i hate liars...
its just a simple 'its all fake' can settle everything? and be ready to move on? so means all along everything are just all fake .. no wonder i m said to be a drama queen some times.. coz only i m thinking its all real.....
it was i who firmly believes and worries bout the consequenses.. despite all who had their doubts.. u shld know wat i m refering to.. for the past weeks, despite me telling myself ' dont be a fool, jinhui!'. in the end, i got the confirmation tt comes in the form of an mere email, it just kept going in circles ard me and in the end............... urgh.. this feeling is extraordinary.. like a big ball of sth tt i cant make out wat it is...
when can i ever get rid of the things going round and round me like many irritating flies .. urgh
til later.. til when i can exactly decide wat i shld be feeling.. which is good. another lose weight oppurtunity.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
seriously i hate having to entertain such brainless ppl i meet at work EVERY SINGLE GODDAMMNIT DAY.
i mean, i seriously DONT get the objective behind their actions. so annoying.
and when i gets annoyed i gets really annoyed!!
life's so boring. no jokes to laugh, no food fest, no songs to sing, no ppl to bully, no money to spend, no fun, no high.. and as usual, i m outdated, i still haben watch 'secret' omg.. kill me.
and i need a dress, but 2 things. 1st, i m fat. 2nd i haben went to search for it yet.
i need shoes, but 2 things. 1st, i choose shoes like choose husband. 2nd, i got no time for shopping.
i need a life, and prolly a night life. oh come on.. y everybody buay on one?! i need khakis....
i mean, i seriously DONT get the objective behind their actions. so annoying.
and when i gets annoyed i gets really annoyed!!
life's so boring. no jokes to laugh, no food fest, no songs to sing, no ppl to bully, no money to spend, no fun, no high.. and as usual, i m outdated, i still haben watch 'secret' omg.. kill me.
and i need a dress, but 2 things. 1st, i m fat. 2nd i haben went to search for it yet.
i need shoes, but 2 things. 1st, i choose shoes like choose husband. 2nd, i got no time for shopping.
i need a life, and prolly a night life. oh come on.. y everybody buay on one?! i need khakis....
Sunday, August 12, 2007
yest while slacking with big sis at domanchi, she started telling us about jobs... and analyzing our pay..
and then dinner's topic was bout money..
and then mocha's topic was bout changing jobs..
urrggh!! i dun wanna slog over phonecalls anymore.
but neither do i wanna work with ______ & ________ &________
no
ha. oh wells. dumdeedummm..
and then dinner's topic was bout money..
and then mocha's topic was bout changing jobs..
urrggh!! i dun wanna slog over phonecalls anymore.
but neither do i wanna work with ______ & ________ &________
no
ha. oh wells. dumdeedummm..
Thursday, August 9, 2007
i absolutely love me-time.....
yest i saw this uber pretty red suede choker for cats completed with gold buckle and gold bell!!
it comes in xmas green too!!
i nearly bot it for my.. ahem.. future pet.
so chio can!! 2 bucks only somemore!!
i wan a REAL kitty..
come to think of it, maybe this is another one of my mad moments.
not too long ago i been having this kinda thoughts regarding class2 and a shiny red vespa..
la..
yest i saw this uber pretty red suede choker for cats completed with gold buckle and gold bell!!
it comes in xmas green too!!
i nearly bot it for my.. ahem.. future pet.
so chio can!! 2 bucks only somemore!!
i wan a REAL kitty..
come to think of it, maybe this is another one of my mad moments.
not too long ago i been having this kinda thoughts regarding class2 and a shiny red vespa..
la..
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
one can never have just a little bit.
u got a bit, u wan the whole world.
everyone are like that, including me.. how come human beings are all like that..
i hate..
life is so boring. like wat a friend always says..'just stick a knife in me and declare me dead.'
I WANT A CATT!!! or anyhting huggable..
so sian..
everyone are like that, including me.. how come human beings are all like that..
i hate..
life is so boring. like wat a friend always says..'just stick a knife in me and declare me dead.'
I WANT A CATT!!! or anyhting huggable..
so sian..
tokyo juilet
sigh......
Ji Feng Liang...
so fake, no one like this exist.
bullshit.
and no one in this world is lucky like lin lai shui..
fake!!!!!
i know i m outdated.. whatever..
head is freaking pain. uber tired.. BORING!
Ji Feng Liang...
so fake, no one like this exist.
bullshit.
and no one in this world is lucky like lin lai shui..
fake!!!!!
i know i m outdated.. whatever..
head is freaking pain. uber tired.. BORING!
Monday, July 30, 2007
so sian!
no work means no phonecalls! ha! it's time i get to wake up at a time later than 7am. finally... i so deserve this monday off.
anyway for everyone who watched 'Just Follow Law' by jack neo i just wanna say, the movie is so true! bloody send email, cc here and there, shooting arrows at each other. i m glad to say, i offically sent my 1st cc email yest! how exciting. i m just like any other trying hard to cover backside person in the organisation now. yay!!
glad my foot!!!! curse and swear... i do not understand why there are SUCH IDIOTIC people ard!!! its their own fault, and happily found the WRONG dept, and yet knowing their mistake DO NOT want to find the appropriate person to help them, since i m nice enough to TRY to help and yet I GOT THE SHIT!!!!!
UUURRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HOPE U CHOKE ON FISHBALLS!!!!!!!!!!!
watever.. i dun care.
nvm if u dun understand.. work stuffs.. i just needa vent.
am i venting/complaining too much? i think my temper just worsened..
i m gonna face the sun at full blast tml.. but i do not know where's my spf150 sunblock...... and all my whitening crap..
my cousin's pregnant! yay.. an aunt to be..ME!!
and one of my fren just got hitched yest..
everyone is starting/had started sch alr..
yay.. happiness is all around..
oh well, all around except for here anyway..
brrr.. cold..
i wanna eat creamy chicken and kfc, maybe some ben&jerry's will be nice..
hmm also.. hello panda strawberry!
and durians..
oh oh.. i wan donuts and brownies from taka!
i wanna eat ban mian too!
grrrr..............
no work means no phonecalls! ha! it's time i get to wake up at a time later than 7am. finally... i so deserve this monday off.
anyway for everyone who watched 'Just Follow Law' by jack neo i just wanna say, the movie is so true! bloody send email, cc here and there, shooting arrows at each other. i m glad to say, i offically sent my 1st cc email yest! how exciting. i m just like any other trying hard to cover backside person in the organisation now. yay!!
glad my foot!!!! curse and swear... i do not understand why there are SUCH IDIOTIC people ard!!! its their own fault, and happily found the WRONG dept, and yet knowing their mistake DO NOT want to find the appropriate person to help them, since i m nice enough to TRY to help and yet I GOT THE SHIT!!!!!
UUURRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HOPE U CHOKE ON FISHBALLS!!!!!!!!!!!
watever.. i dun care.
nvm if u dun understand.. work stuffs.. i just needa vent.
am i venting/complaining too much? i think my temper just worsened..
i m gonna face the sun at full blast tml.. but i do not know where's my spf150 sunblock...... and all my whitening crap..
my cousin's pregnant! yay.. an aunt to be..ME!!
and one of my fren just got hitched yest..
everyone is starting/had started sch alr..
yay.. happiness is all around..
oh well, all around except for here anyway..
brrr.. cold..
i wanna eat creamy chicken and kfc, maybe some ben&jerry's will be nice..
hmm also.. hello panda strawberry!
and durians..
oh oh.. i wan donuts and brownies from taka!
i wanna eat ban mian too!
grrrr..............
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
i m broke!!
so sian.
germ's blogging and i wanna read.. but tt woman is so slowwwww!!
i bot vest and skirt today!
sister jing jing and party germ germ are so tan........ like this>>>
so sian.
germ's blogging and i wanna read.. but tt woman is so slowwwww!!
i bot vest and skirt today!
sister jing jing and party germ germ are so tan........ like this>>>
yay and we had xian de lai for dinner.. yummy..
urgh.. and i look so act cute today..
i m not gg to buy briks!! NO!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
and so i read germy's blog...
i love u gers too!!!
i m so glad i m part of the strong bond tt held us to tightly tgt!
=))))
and i miss darling too! hope u feeling better okay???? and we go eat the riverside restaurant again!
and well.. thou i see baby everyday at work.. but baby, pls rmb u r my fren and not only my colleague, i would wish to see u out eating xian de lai with us! coz the rest of them dun appreciate lamb fillet like we do. haha..
la la la..
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
oh man oh man.... work sucks.
the thing is during work i m supposed to update this v impt spreadsheet to transmit info from one place to another. ok.. sounds simple?
BORING..
from last week i did one spreadsheet of 29 records, and just finished it today. and i found another new spreadsheet of 79 records in my mail!!!!!!
nearly cried on e spot.. i seriously mean it ok.
hai. helpline today werent splendid too..
unlike last week, i sounded so full of confidence, like i m the pro of the pro... plus throw in e drive and vibrant tone and fantastic customer service.......
this week i was generally pretty dead.
ya. yest i pissed the 'law-by-law' off and today i pissed my trainer off too. seriously i din do it on purpose.... but.. forget it. alr been feeling nausea since mon, everyday after helpline it worsen.. 3 years... 3 freaking years... kept whining to baby right after helpline, felt really bad, seems i had reached the max alr, cant improve or catch up any more. nontheless, having a true friend at work is really good coz i dun have to scared her for discriminating me during my useless days or i have to be real careful with words i say to her. and the best of all, i wun have to bottle everything up and swallow them...
i wun say none of the colleagues are not nice but i wun say they are angels too. but since i have baby as my colleague nw, i m not gonna complain much..
am tired, nw tt i got my psp, it doesnt really feel THAT awesome after all. maybe coz til nw i still cnaot break the damn time trial for need for speed. and i m really tired from playing the same thing over and over agian!!! pls!! i bot 3 cars! and modify all of them alr!!! there are absolutly no more modification i can make or any more cars i can buy!!!
i know i m random.. jus let me talk..
its like when one thing isnt gg smooth, ALL things canot go on smoothly..
after u get everything u ever wanted... it doesnt at all seems tt fantastic after all.. and u just got a feeling tt u can actually do without all these stuffs.
watever............
told wennie bout stuffs over our daily emails... she says dun think so much.. coz normally all these 'waiting' stuffs just aint true.. it wun be real........... til another one comes into the pic.. everything is just gone..
these days i m just so attracted to cats.. lil kitties.. big fierce kitties... cute kitties...
so adorable. aint u ppl not fasinated to them? instead of dogs who are active and bark and pounce at u.. cats have this mysterious aura and attitude of their own.. so cool! it seems to just not care about a single damn thing in the world! and they too got this'i dun give a shit whether u like me or not' look on their face! oh!!! e more i wanna pick them up and cuddle them and squeeze them!! aw..
serious.. i m not joking, i will keep a cat if i can. see.. a cat doesnt care if u bring them out for walks not. or u def need to spend few hours a day playing catch with them, coz they are too cool to be seen playing the game!! haha! i think if i were to keep a cat, i will be the one fighting for its attention instead!! parents dun let me have any animal in e hse, not even a tiny fish or worm.. so yea... maybe i can get a cat when i m real old and while i knit on my rocking chair i will give the kitty a ball of thread to play! and maybe i can use the kitty to scare germy coz by them she will be too old to run! haha.. imagine i put kitty on the chair beside her.. it would be hilarious...
aahh... feels good to let out the thoughts for a while.. thanks ppl...
the thing is during work i m supposed to update this v impt spreadsheet to transmit info from one place to another. ok.. sounds simple?
BORING..
from last week i did one spreadsheet of 29 records, and just finished it today. and i found another new spreadsheet of 79 records in my mail!!!!!!
nearly cried on e spot.. i seriously mean it ok.
hai. helpline today werent splendid too..
unlike last week, i sounded so full of confidence, like i m the pro of the pro... plus throw in e drive and vibrant tone and fantastic customer service.......
this week i was generally pretty dead.
ya. yest i pissed the 'law-by-law' off and today i pissed my trainer off too. seriously i din do it on purpose.... but.. forget it. alr been feeling nausea since mon, everyday after helpline it worsen.. 3 years... 3 freaking years... kept whining to baby right after helpline, felt really bad, seems i had reached the max alr, cant improve or catch up any more. nontheless, having a true friend at work is really good coz i dun have to scared her for discriminating me during my useless days or i have to be real careful with words i say to her. and the best of all, i wun have to bottle everything up and swallow them...
i wun say none of the colleagues are not nice but i wun say they are angels too. but since i have baby as my colleague nw, i m not gonna complain much..
am tired, nw tt i got my psp, it doesnt really feel THAT awesome after all. maybe coz til nw i still cnaot break the damn time trial for need for speed. and i m really tired from playing the same thing over and over agian!!! pls!! i bot 3 cars! and modify all of them alr!!! there are absolutly no more modification i can make or any more cars i can buy!!!
i know i m random.. jus let me talk..
its like when one thing isnt gg smooth, ALL things canot go on smoothly..
after u get everything u ever wanted... it doesnt at all seems tt fantastic after all.. and u just got a feeling tt u can actually do without all these stuffs.
watever............
told wennie bout stuffs over our daily emails... she says dun think so much.. coz normally all these 'waiting' stuffs just aint true.. it wun be real........... til another one comes into the pic.. everything is just gone..
these days i m just so attracted to cats.. lil kitties.. big fierce kitties... cute kitties...
so adorable. aint u ppl not fasinated to them? instead of dogs who are active and bark and pounce at u.. cats have this mysterious aura and attitude of their own.. so cool! it seems to just not care about a single damn thing in the world! and they too got this'i dun give a shit whether u like me or not' look on their face! oh!!! e more i wanna pick them up and cuddle them and squeeze them!! aw..
serious.. i m not joking, i will keep a cat if i can. see.. a cat doesnt care if u bring them out for walks not. or u def need to spend few hours a day playing catch with them, coz they are too cool to be seen playing the game!! haha! i think if i were to keep a cat, i will be the one fighting for its attention instead!! parents dun let me have any animal in e hse, not even a tiny fish or worm.. so yea... maybe i can get a cat when i m real old and while i knit on my rocking chair i will give the kitty a ball of thread to play! and maybe i can use the kitty to scare germy coz by them she will be too old to run! haha.. imagine i put kitty on the chair beside her.. it would be hilarious...
aahh... feels good to let out the thoughts for a while.. thanks ppl...
Monday, July 16, 2007
it's sorta funny in life when u are in some place and u wish tt u were in another instead. like sometimes u go to e hawker centre to eat with friends and then u set ur mind in eating, say oyster omelette then after returning to the table then u saw ur friend having beef noodles. then u look at ur own piping hot oyster omelette and u wished that you were the one having beef noodles instead. the second time u go to the hawker centre thou u feel like having oyster omelette again but you decided that the place have many more interesting food other than just oyster omelette, and you walked ard the whole damn place and finally decided on this v delicious looking................... hokkien mee. and then after ordering this hokkien mee, it was nice... but then you just cnaot stop thinking of the oyster omelette thou u thot u were so sure on having the hokkien mee. it wasnt coz tt the hokkien mee wasnt nice, it's even nicer than the oyster omelette but u know.... u know from the bottom of ur heart that only oyster omelette can satisfy u and its just meant for u. thou u have sth better like hokkien mee, but u cant feel happy no matter wat. then the 3rd time u visit the sickening hawker centre and u headed straight back to the fated oyster omelette stall, but it was alr gone.... selling roti prata instead.
and there u were, disappointed.. regreting y u din appreciated the oyster omelette in e 1st place, keep thinking it was too oily, too ugly, not hot enough, not soupy etc, etc. and nw u want nth except the oyster omelette althou u think it wasnt good for u. but wat can u do? it wasnt here anymore, but even if it really comes back do u really wan it? u sure u wun one day stop eating again and go for sth different, like u used to? wat can u blame? urself for not being contented with wat you have or blaming the omelette for not being perfect?
i m getting loh soh....
shall try to break the stupid need for speed time trail. honestly this game is fun but i keep canot pass the time trail... and i canot pass means i canot go on to the next level. super pek chek... kns..
pretty messy things happen these few weeks.. things are peaceful nw. life is ok with psp with me.. oh... pls not let the flu stop! i wan mc tml................... =X
and there u were, disappointed.. regreting y u din appreciated the oyster omelette in e 1st place, keep thinking it was too oily, too ugly, not hot enough, not soupy etc, etc. and nw u want nth except the oyster omelette althou u think it wasnt good for u. but wat can u do? it wasnt here anymore, but even if it really comes back do u really wan it? u sure u wun one day stop eating again and go for sth different, like u used to? wat can u blame? urself for not being contented with wat you have or blaming the omelette for not being perfect?
i m getting loh soh....
shall try to break the stupid need for speed time trail. honestly this game is fun but i keep canot pass the time trail... and i canot pass means i canot go on to the next level. super pek chek... kns..
pretty messy things happen these few weeks.. things are peaceful nw. life is ok with psp with me.. oh... pls not let the flu stop! i wan mc tml................... =X
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
still alive.
(yeap.. still alive.
work is e most boring and lifeless thing on earth. in case ur think its fun, ITS NOT AT ALL!!!! Being a snail is even more fun then wat i m doing every single freaking day. at least a snail can slp, admire scenery and play in the rain. i think all taxi drivers in spore shld thank me for the extra money tt are gg into their bank in a few months time. yet, i gave them a bomb for bringing me to work. used to cost 9bucks to reach office, some itchy backsides would (purposely???) go by bt timah and i had to pay 50cents more for ERP. And the toot driver went orchard way today and i paid 10bucks!! one whole dollar more....
fine, i know i shldnt be so narrow-minded and whine bout tt extra dollar i m paying. but... just let me whine ok.
anyway, my weight is slowly and steadily increasing, trying hard to curb my glutton-ness. hai. i need to lose weight u know..
life's so quiet now, soon everyone dear would be starting their new life..... in uni. so yea.. envious i m... i so wanna hit the books and do projs and just enjoy being a student. yet.... i have to endure taxation while everyone are going fun lects and tutorials. damn 3 yrs.
i m so thinking of times when tb27 went for lects tgt, and climb the slopes ard NP to attend classes, complaining bout tutors, crapping all the way. taking pic in lib and eating at different canteens, complaining how we have to eat at canteen one as chi refused to go anywhere else to eat! those were the times, young and innocent, and our biggest worries were just mere project deadlines.
sigh...
all i can say is, i feel so old and hargard. when i look into e mirror, i dun think tt e person staring back is just a mere 19 going 20 girl. i dun look 20, i dun feel 20, i think i m at least 25. this feeling is scary, really scary. I dont know wat's awaiting me in e future, all i can do is hang on to the lil string of unconcrete plans and hopefully praying to buddha tt it will guide me thru. i dun feel any drive in me, hopefully i wun lose this precious bit of myself.
depressing?..... til e next itme...........
bye if anyone does reads.
work is e most boring and lifeless thing on earth. in case ur think its fun, ITS NOT AT ALL!!!! Being a snail is even more fun then wat i m doing every single freaking day. at least a snail can slp, admire scenery and play in the rain. i think all taxi drivers in spore shld thank me for the extra money tt are gg into their bank in a few months time. yet, i gave them a bomb for bringing me to work. used to cost 9bucks to reach office, some itchy backsides would (purposely???) go by bt timah and i had to pay 50cents more for ERP. And the toot driver went orchard way today and i paid 10bucks!! one whole dollar more....
fine, i know i shldnt be so narrow-minded and whine bout tt extra dollar i m paying. but... just let me whine ok.
anyway, my weight is slowly and steadily increasing, trying hard to curb my glutton-ness. hai. i need to lose weight u know..
life's so quiet now, soon everyone dear would be starting their new life..... in uni. so yea.. envious i m... i so wanna hit the books and do projs and just enjoy being a student. yet.... i have to endure taxation while everyone are going fun lects and tutorials. damn 3 yrs.
i m so thinking of times when tb27 went for lects tgt, and climb the slopes ard NP to attend classes, complaining bout tutors, crapping all the way. taking pic in lib and eating at different canteens, complaining how we have to eat at canteen one as chi refused to go anywhere else to eat! those were the times, young and innocent, and our biggest worries were just mere project deadlines.
sigh...
all i can say is, i feel so old and hargard. when i look into e mirror, i dun think tt e person staring back is just a mere 19 going 20 girl. i dun look 20, i dun feel 20, i think i m at least 25. this feeling is scary, really scary. I dont know wat's awaiting me in e future, all i can do is hang on to the lil string of unconcrete plans and hopefully praying to buddha tt it will guide me thru. i dun feel any drive in me, hopefully i wun lose this precious bit of myself.
depressing?..... til e next itme...........
bye if anyone does reads.
Friday, June 1, 2007
i hope all reading this had a happy vesak day.
i duno where to start this, but seems today there are lots of things for me to ponder on, to settle for and... watever.
not today actually, but just recently.
some stuffs are to be settled personally. so.. perhaps just one thing ....
not many of those ppl who i classified as my close frens, know of things that are happening in my life. like work, how i spend time, why does it seems that i alr disappeared into the thin air as thou i dont exist at all. maybe the most common excuses i use on you ppl are work, feeling tired and such. maybe i just have poor time mgt. i m sorry. its easy to say i love and care for my loved ones, its easy to say all of you means a lot to me. we are on our 8th year of frenship, you ppl have alr grown into a part of me. i havent been doing my part well, i understand..... i dont deny that the recent changes that came into my life had contributed to the crack, but i must amend that it was me who played the huge part in the prob. in fact not only my friendships are the ones who got affected.
i m sorry that i used the rest of the time for sleep, running errands, rotting and bf. sorry that i appeared so mysterious, there are things which i canot bring myself to just pop out of my mouth without feeling ma lu.
blogs are somewhat a source of how i still feels that you ppl are in me. in case nobody thinks i m reading, i m. whenever i have a chance to be online, i will read the stories you ppl have religiously. i know of how happy are you to be able to listen to your idols new album (the songs are really nice) and how you anticipated it for weeks and months, how your mum finally allow you to go overseas. i know of you changing your plans of gg to SIM to gg accounting sch, i know of you gg overseas next month, i know of you gg to start sch real soon. i know of you having fun at work, hoping to go travel, having fun at work and changing into a self-made blog skin of all your friends which is really beautiful. i know of your new blog skin, your grandma being admitted into hospital, and all the bits and pieces of your life and how you feel.
for the good, i felt happy of all of you. for the bad, i hope everything will be good soon.
i want to be in the category and i want to mend it. and i know its for me and that's why i m typing this entry. i know i m irresponsible at letting the crack between us grows bigger and bigger. i m not upset at how you ppl are feeling against me, cos i know if it's the other way round i would feel like that too.
it all does matters to me. maybe it's another one of those easy-to-say thingys to you.
i hate to sound busy, but schedules are planned ahead, i m in no control to change them. i hope i wun have to push myself so hard, but i need to. i m tired of having to keep doing accounts in my head, which i alr become a pro at. i know some decisions i made for my life would scarifice things and ppl tt are impt to me. not only my 7 plus years of friendship, but also family and my r/s with bf.
i alr choose this path for myself, there's alr no turning back, and i dun wan to turn back. sry i m not referring to us, but the way i plan on building my future. i get lots of comments of being stubborn of why not choosing the easy way out, dont ask me why, coz i duno it myself? coz i know i wun feel good and wun be happy.
i know the above sounds angry and defensive, its really not the tone that it is. so everyting tt had happened to me, i just got angry at my self-centered way of dealing things. i cant understand why i push everything and everyone so hard. maybe i m used to dealing things like that. in the end not only caused misery to myself and to everyone too. whenever i got angry i just burst out, i do and say things at impulse and make a mountain out of a molehill. when i got preoccupied, i ignore all things ard me and basically couldnt care much and turned ultra insensitive to all. all these probs i know and i m fully aware of them. but when things happen, i do it all again. and then i will regret, and tells myself that i m not trying hard enough to change. then i push myself again to change. and so the vicious cycle continues..............
dont get it? fine, sometimes i dun get myself too, so its ok.
i m not angry or disappointed or wanting to give up our friendship, maybe just a lil upset which will disappear in a while.
i still want to keep this friendship i have with you ppl and want v much to remain in the grp.
pls dun get offended or upset if anything upset or offend you ppl.
its not just to you ppl, but to frens who know this blog. as only my closeest frens i had given the @ to.
------------------------------------------------------------
yea vesak day, went to settle sth which is troubling me for 2 mths alr. got a bit of solution, i hope it will works. hai, the results of having weird hormones..
2nd yr of not being able to acc parents to temple and 'bath the buddha'. hai.
anyway things happened....
i regret the way of me saying things that carries the wrong meaning. hai. to you i m sorry, things are not like that, i really treasure it all.
pls, i want everything to be well again, with job, with everyone that matters to me. i will work at being a better person, and learn to manage feelings and time. and not to let my self centered way of doing things and thinking carrys myself away. and also, become a more wholesome person, to be able to be more sensitive to feelings, to be able to think in other ppl's shoes, just to change my pushing way.
i will come out of my cave, just needa retreat for a while to sort out everything.
its the start of the long and busy weekend again. take care ppl.
i duno where to start this, but seems today there are lots of things for me to ponder on, to settle for and... watever.
not today actually, but just recently.
some stuffs are to be settled personally. so.. perhaps just one thing ....
not many of those ppl who i classified as my close frens, know of things that are happening in my life. like work, how i spend time, why does it seems that i alr disappeared into the thin air as thou i dont exist at all. maybe the most common excuses i use on you ppl are work, feeling tired and such. maybe i just have poor time mgt. i m sorry. its easy to say i love and care for my loved ones, its easy to say all of you means a lot to me. we are on our 8th year of frenship, you ppl have alr grown into a part of me. i havent been doing my part well, i understand..... i dont deny that the recent changes that came into my life had contributed to the crack, but i must amend that it was me who played the huge part in the prob. in fact not only my friendships are the ones who got affected.
i m sorry that i used the rest of the time for sleep, running errands, rotting and bf. sorry that i appeared so mysterious, there are things which i canot bring myself to just pop out of my mouth without feeling ma lu.
blogs are somewhat a source of how i still feels that you ppl are in me. in case nobody thinks i m reading, i m. whenever i have a chance to be online, i will read the stories you ppl have religiously. i know of how happy are you to be able to listen to your idols new album (the songs are really nice) and how you anticipated it for weeks and months, how your mum finally allow you to go overseas. i know of you changing your plans of gg to SIM to gg accounting sch, i know of you gg overseas next month, i know of you gg to start sch real soon. i know of you having fun at work, hoping to go travel, having fun at work and changing into a self-made blog skin of all your friends which is really beautiful. i know of your new blog skin, your grandma being admitted into hospital, and all the bits and pieces of your life and how you feel.
for the good, i felt happy of all of you. for the bad, i hope everything will be good soon.
i want to be in the category and i want to mend it. and i know its for me and that's why i m typing this entry. i know i m irresponsible at letting the crack between us grows bigger and bigger. i m not upset at how you ppl are feeling against me, cos i know if it's the other way round i would feel like that too.
it all does matters to me. maybe it's another one of those easy-to-say thingys to you.
i hate to sound busy, but schedules are planned ahead, i m in no control to change them. i hope i wun have to push myself so hard, but i need to. i m tired of having to keep doing accounts in my head, which i alr become a pro at. i know some decisions i made for my life would scarifice things and ppl tt are impt to me. not only my 7 plus years of friendship, but also family and my r/s with bf.
i alr choose this path for myself, there's alr no turning back, and i dun wan to turn back. sry i m not referring to us, but the way i plan on building my future. i get lots of comments of being stubborn of why not choosing the easy way out, dont ask me why, coz i duno it myself? coz i know i wun feel good and wun be happy.
i know the above sounds angry and defensive, its really not the tone that it is. so everyting tt had happened to me, i just got angry at my self-centered way of dealing things. i cant understand why i push everything and everyone so hard. maybe i m used to dealing things like that. in the end not only caused misery to myself and to everyone too. whenever i got angry i just burst out, i do and say things at impulse and make a mountain out of a molehill. when i got preoccupied, i ignore all things ard me and basically couldnt care much and turned ultra insensitive to all. all these probs i know and i m fully aware of them. but when things happen, i do it all again. and then i will regret, and tells myself that i m not trying hard enough to change. then i push myself again to change. and so the vicious cycle continues..............
dont get it? fine, sometimes i dun get myself too, so its ok.
i m not angry or disappointed or wanting to give up our friendship, maybe just a lil upset which will disappear in a while.
i still want to keep this friendship i have with you ppl and want v much to remain in the grp.
pls dun get offended or upset if anything upset or offend you ppl.
its not just to you ppl, but to frens who know this blog. as only my closeest frens i had given the @ to.
------------------------------------------------------------
yea vesak day, went to settle sth which is troubling me for 2 mths alr. got a bit of solution, i hope it will works. hai, the results of having weird hormones..
2nd yr of not being able to acc parents to temple and 'bath the buddha'. hai.
anyway things happened....
i regret the way of me saying things that carries the wrong meaning. hai. to you i m sorry, things are not like that, i really treasure it all.
pls, i want everything to be well again, with job, with everyone that matters to me. i will work at being a better person, and learn to manage feelings and time. and not to let my self centered way of doing things and thinking carrys myself away. and also, become a more wholesome person, to be able to be more sensitive to feelings, to be able to think in other ppl's shoes, just to change my pushing way.
i will come out of my cave, just needa retreat for a while to sort out everything.
its the start of the long and busy weekend again. take care ppl.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
elo..
in case anyone is wondering..
i havent die yet. still alive and kicking.
just that i m v tired...
work was ok.. still having training.
made a nice fren who is coincidently from np too!
but our workstation are a lil far apart, so we kept calling each other via the phone when we are rotting at our seats!
ppl there are generally nice too.
oh i gotten all my passwords alr, including pc and lotus notes!
ha!
ok..... bye..
in case anyone is wondering..
i havent die yet. still alive and kicking.
just that i m v tired...
work was ok.. still having training.
made a nice fren who is coincidently from np too!
but our workstation are a lil far apart, so we kept calling each other via the phone when we are rotting at our seats!
ppl there are generally nice too.
oh i gotten all my passwords alr, including pc and lotus notes!
ha!
ok..... bye..
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
yea.
moe job is gone.
and i m not missing it. haha.
biggest news now is I M EMPLOYED BY IRAS!!
woohoo! am gonna be dealing with taxes now!
i m so excited!!!
i wun say its a career, coz i have plans for uni.
and of coz, with this job, i can almost see my degree in my hand now. =)))))))
i will be a uni grad too! but i just need a bit bit more time, but i will be.
starting new job next week and its time for more clothes and MORE CLOTHES.
i keep on thinking bout this and i get sudden urge of wanting to scream out with joy and tell the world that i gotta job which i wanted so so so so much.
yippees.....
ok.. my show buffer finish alr, bye.
moe job is gone.
and i m not missing it. haha.
biggest news now is I M EMPLOYED BY IRAS!!
woohoo! am gonna be dealing with taxes now!
i m so excited!!!
i wun say its a career, coz i have plans for uni.
and of coz, with this job, i can almost see my degree in my hand now. =)))))))
i will be a uni grad too! but i just need a bit bit more time, but i will be.
starting new job next week and its time for more clothes and MORE CLOTHES.
i keep on thinking bout this and i get sudden urge of wanting to scream out with joy and tell the world that i gotta job which i wanted so so so so much.
yippees.....
ok.. my show buffer finish alr, bye.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
gosh my eyesight is seriously worsening.
i can feel it....
need to have the eyes checked real soon.
turns out i m not having fever, but just feverish.
e kan jiong spider doc seems worried thou.
=(
i wanna to have a healthy body!
the dogs on tv are so cuteee..
i m bored. hai.
being sick is no fun..
so giddy, maybe its coz i haben had a proper meal since lunch yest.
and its now almost 5pm.
and i wouldnt see bf til like sat??????
wat the hell.
wat a bugger.
y dont u just move on and go away.
eew i feel sick.
talent is nice, but not THAT nice.
talent is understanding but she does has a limit.
talent is kind but pls dont step on her tail else she will really bite.
humph!
i can feel it....
need to have the eyes checked real soon.
turns out i m not having fever, but just feverish.
e kan jiong spider doc seems worried thou.
=(
i wanna to have a healthy body!
the dogs on tv are so cuteee..
i m bored. hai.
being sick is no fun..
so giddy, maybe its coz i haben had a proper meal since lunch yest.
and its now almost 5pm.
and i wouldnt see bf til like sat??????
wat the hell.
wat a bugger.
y dont u just move on and go away.
eew i feel sick.
talent is nice, but not THAT nice.
talent is understanding but she does has a limit.
talent is kind but pls dont step on her tail else she will really bite.
humph!
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
talent went spurging today!!
fyi, talent = yours truely. =D
spent a lot of money, sud rmb that suppose to return dad money. panic can, but no worries! Boss rmb to approve salary! so i will be getting my pay on e 14th! hohohoh.. not much, but well i m hei-pi!!
lol. oh ya... 2nd day of fever, but i went work at both places yest. Took a half day leave to meet germy and sis for shopping today!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE GONNA MEET UP ON THURS FOR DINNER AGAIN!!! YYYYYAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just dont look sick huh.
=)
days with bf has been super sweet lately. =)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
i feel like skipping ard the house now.
where is bf? i wan sleep.
fyi, talent = yours truely. =D
spent a lot of money, sud rmb that suppose to return dad money. panic can, but no worries! Boss rmb to approve salary! so i will be getting my pay on e 14th! hohohoh.. not much, but well i m hei-pi!!
lol. oh ya... 2nd day of fever, but i went work at both places yest. Took a half day leave to meet germy and sis for shopping today!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE GONNA MEET UP ON THURS FOR DINNER AGAIN!!! YYYYYAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just dont look sick huh.
=)
days with bf has been super sweet lately. =)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
i feel like skipping ard the house now.
where is bf? i wan sleep.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
i duno bout u ppl. but in this life... i nv really quitted a job before.
i quit sakae due to a huge quarrel with a fat cow. i quit raffles by just disappearing. i quit sentosa by a sms. i quit tuition by sms too....
today was struggling on how to tell the mgr that i want off day tml. coz my fault, since last week i know i got an interview tml, but i drag til today then i felt the urgency in bringing the matter up. so she told me in a VERY unfriendly tone to call me ask the ppl i m working under if i can take off. was a bit pissed coz .... tts another story.. so i asked e perm staff, then just now then i realised i was in such a hurry to get out of e office tt i forgot to cfm with the mgr tt i m not coming tml. sian. watever la.. heck care.
since i was thinking bout quiting this job since e v 1st week i was working there, so i thought its time tt i faster quit. if not i will stay there forever. i couldnt say tt i was quiting this fri, coz it wun be nice if i quit on fri then i take off tml. so i must quit next week, but today they told me to start doing interviews from next week onwards..
kao how i quit.........
so i was sitting in front of e com, talking to myself (smiles at germ). then i went,
'tell magdelene fri last day, faster run, dun drag liao'
'siao, if fri last day, tml still take off?'
'ya hor, canot.... sian next week still must stay..'
'next week germ no work le lo, if next week free can jio her out for shopping!'
'ok, how bout fri come back work say found perm job alr, then say work til tues? then wed can go shop with germ for whole day AND thurs is bf off day!!'
'wa lau, talent lor. i love my way of planning things.'
'ok. set, i m such a talent.'
then i counted down to inform raymond bout tml off day then he passed me a paper saying next tues and wed i need go do interview!!!!!!
dun need quit le lor. kns.
i quit sakae due to a huge quarrel with a fat cow. i quit raffles by just disappearing. i quit sentosa by a sms. i quit tuition by sms too....
today was struggling on how to tell the mgr that i want off day tml. coz my fault, since last week i know i got an interview tml, but i drag til today then i felt the urgency in bringing the matter up. so she told me in a VERY unfriendly tone to call me ask the ppl i m working under if i can take off. was a bit pissed coz .... tts another story.. so i asked e perm staff, then just now then i realised i was in such a hurry to get out of e office tt i forgot to cfm with the mgr tt i m not coming tml. sian. watever la.. heck care.
since i was thinking bout quiting this job since e v 1st week i was working there, so i thought its time tt i faster quit. if not i will stay there forever. i couldnt say tt i was quiting this fri, coz it wun be nice if i quit on fri then i take off tml. so i must quit next week, but today they told me to start doing interviews from next week onwards..
kao how i quit.........
so i was sitting in front of e com, talking to myself (smiles at germ). then i went,
'tell magdelene fri last day, faster run, dun drag liao'
'siao, if fri last day, tml still take off?'
'ya hor, canot.... sian next week still must stay..'
'next week germ no work le lo, if next week free can jio her out for shopping!'
'ok, how bout fri come back work say found perm job alr, then say work til tues? then wed can go shop with germ for whole day AND thurs is bf off day!!'
'wa lau, talent lor. i love my way of planning things.'
'ok. set, i m such a talent.'
then i counted down to inform raymond bout tml off day then he passed me a paper saying next tues and wed i need go do interview!!!!!!
dun need quit le lor. kns.
Friday, April 27, 2007
no future
okayyy...
the interview was oookkkkayyy.. i think my performance wasnt the killer, but instead was the no confidence of the interviewers have in me. they kept bombarding me about business stuffs instead of the interest i have for the job. esp the chairman, seems like he has A LOT A LOT of doubts bout me. hai. but then again, meaningful job is one thing, benefit is another thing. i know bout all those stuffs bout interest and such, but for me and the situation i m in now, monetary benefits are much more important.
so yea.
i will know my results tml when i go work, and so will the whole office.
oh wells.
if i m lucky, i will be offered the contract option, if not, i would get the C grade then be kicked out.
anyway, 90% chance i would be rejecting the offer. i went for the interview just for the 'mian zi'. haha. coz if i didnt turn up for the interview, cfm kana say at work tml. lol.
IRAS called, interview next thurs, salary sounds good. shall see about the prospects. caller damn attitude thou. called baby, she flying to china tml, bon voyage. lol! i canot imagine myself eating from the plates of the restaurants in china again. yucks.
met up with buds yest ... all working now. all of them looks great, like grown ups!! except for me.. still tt fat, pudgy piece of lard.
anyway i m tired. i think the whole office tml will know how sucky i did in the interview today and they will all laugh til their teeth drop. maybe i shall bring a spade to work tml, to dig up a whole and bury myself in it. hahah.. if their teeth drop and i can intro them to do dentures with dr chong.. and dr chong shall increase my pay coz i bring so many business to him. ok lame not funny.
jingwen's last day's monday. AARRRGGHH!! perhaps if mag comes back tml and can then esther can come work with me. lol. so someone will have lunch with me. xiu's coming back i think 2 weeks later? prolly i would be gone by then..............
slp time.. nites
the interview was oookkkkayyy.. i think my performance wasnt the killer, but instead was the no confidence of the interviewers have in me. they kept bombarding me about business stuffs instead of the interest i have for the job. esp the chairman, seems like he has A LOT A LOT of doubts bout me. hai. but then again, meaningful job is one thing, benefit is another thing. i know bout all those stuffs bout interest and such, but for me and the situation i m in now, monetary benefits are much more important.
so yea.
i will know my results tml when i go work, and so will the whole office.
oh wells.
if i m lucky, i will be offered the contract option, if not, i would get the C grade then be kicked out.
anyway, 90% chance i would be rejecting the offer. i went for the interview just for the 'mian zi'. haha. coz if i didnt turn up for the interview, cfm kana say at work tml. lol.
IRAS called, interview next thurs, salary sounds good. shall see about the prospects. caller damn attitude thou. called baby, she flying to china tml, bon voyage. lol! i canot imagine myself eating from the plates of the restaurants in china again. yucks.
met up with buds yest ... all working now. all of them looks great, like grown ups!! except for me.. still tt fat, pudgy piece of lard.
anyway i m tired. i think the whole office tml will know how sucky i did in the interview today and they will all laugh til their teeth drop. maybe i shall bring a spade to work tml, to dig up a whole and bury myself in it. hahah.. if their teeth drop and i can intro them to do dentures with dr chong.. and dr chong shall increase my pay coz i bring so many business to him. ok lame not funny.
jingwen's last day's monday. AARRRGGHH!! perhaps if mag comes back tml and can then esther can come work with me. lol. so someone will have lunch with me. xiu's coming back i think 2 weeks later? prolly i would be gone by then..............
slp time.. nites
Sunday, April 22, 2007
monday blues monday blues monday blues..
I DONT WANNA GO WORK TML!
but i need to.............
coz ah mok's making me work 3 days per week from next month onwards only!
grrrr....... if i quit this job i'll prolly eat grass for the month of june.
but if i dont quit, i be able live like a queen on my own with all the cash flowing in..
in return i will need to bear with all the shits 5 days per week.
but then again...... i can also look for other jobs.
yea... i hope july dont come so quickily, i dont wanna join PA!
btw, there's this dreadful fear that i MAY get the sack for being so redundant..
oh wells.
took 2 days off work in just my 1st week. LOL! Had a good rest for 4 whole days! I just dont consider work at clinic as work, coz simply I enjoy it! Celebrated bf's bday! Happy 22nd. I got him this manly, atas, chic looking guess wallet, and now both of us got cool and matching wallets. woohoo.. SHI MEI DE LO!! Honestly, i like it almost as much as my own's, lao niang can just sniff at the leather all day! Dont you just love the fragrance of new leather. hoho.
anyone can intro a good place i can trim my brows?
alright,
sleeptime!
tml assisting crown prep!! i hate crown preps!! grrrr......................
i hate mondays........
I DONT WANNA GO WORK TML!
but i need to.............
coz ah mok's making me work 3 days per week from next month onwards only!
grrrr....... if i quit this job i'll prolly eat grass for the month of june.
but if i dont quit, i be able live like a queen on my own with all the cash flowing in..
in return i will need to bear with all the shits 5 days per week.
but then again...... i can also look for other jobs.
yea... i hope july dont come so quickily, i dont wanna join PA!
btw, there's this dreadful fear that i MAY get the sack for being so redundant..
oh wells.
took 2 days off work in just my 1st week. LOL! Had a good rest for 4 whole days! I just dont consider work at clinic as work, coz simply I enjoy it! Celebrated bf's bday! Happy 22nd. I got him this manly, atas, chic looking guess wallet, and now both of us got cool and matching wallets. woohoo.. SHI MEI DE LO!! Honestly, i like it almost as much as my own's, lao niang can just sniff at the leather all day! Dont you just love the fragrance of new leather. hoho.
anyone can intro a good place i can trim my brows?
alright,
sleeptime!
tml assisting crown prep!! i hate crown preps!! grrrr......................
i hate mondays........
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
New job-
sucky job.
whatever.
thinking of quiting either this week or next.
at MOE doing temp admin.
only nice things are,
JINGWEN'S working with me! comforting to have a familiar face to see everyday... like today mood was bad, work was bad, everything else was bad. on e verge of tearing (literally) then jingwen sud appeared on my desk with a huge grin at 12.15 to tell me lunch time is coming. =) official lunch time is 1pm, but everyone will disappear by 1240. we left at 1230 sharp.... off work too.. 530pm sharp both of us step out of the place alr. haha. and i had a happy lunch with her too! lala!
oooooooooohh
and misskoh's working same place as me!!!! happy to see her.....
i think her position quite high, coz jingwen said to see e position of the person, see how tall e cubicle is. ok.. misskoh's cubicle is very high. lol.
but she leaving on fri for china! =( when she's back, i'll be gone.
i made a good purchase today! it's good, i like!! goody mood is back! =))))
whatever.
thinking of quiting either this week or next.
at MOE doing temp admin.
only nice things are,
JINGWEN'S working with me! comforting to have a familiar face to see everyday... like today mood was bad, work was bad, everything else was bad. on e verge of tearing (literally) then jingwen sud appeared on my desk with a huge grin at 12.15 to tell me lunch time is coming. =) official lunch time is 1pm, but everyone will disappear by 1240. we left at 1230 sharp.... off work too.. 530pm sharp both of us step out of the place alr. haha. and i had a happy lunch with her too! lala!
oooooooooohh
and misskoh's working same place as me!!!! happy to see her.....
i think her position quite high, coz jingwen said to see e position of the person, see how tall e cubicle is. ok.. misskoh's cubicle is very high. lol.
but she leaving on fri for china! =( when she's back, i'll be gone.
i made a good purchase today! it's good, i like!! goody mood is back! =))))
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
I AM SO ANGRY
SO BLARDY ANGRY..
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO DO NOT KNOW HOW TO USE THE LIFTS!! I mean when u take lifts there are 2 buttons right? If you want to go up then you press the up button, then if you want to go down you press the down button. BUT SOME IDIOTS WOULD JUST PRESS BOTH THE BUTTONS. STUPID PEOPLE STUPID PEOPLE STUPID PEOPLE!!!!!!
sian. jingwen took off today. and i m so super bored during lunch. But lunch mates are quite ok.. still got talk to me and such..
work is boring, they gave me very little work, asked the perm staffs for work, but they seem too busy to care. in the end, ask the other temp staff, he had to keep on squeezing work out for me. it's obvious that he is irritated by me.
sian.
i need buy new clothes but decided not to go alone.........
and bf is out. and no meeting today..
means i wun get to see him til thurs..
3 days of no bf!
3 DAYS!!
3 DAYS!!!!!
the furthest i go is 2 days without bf only....
sian....
when i finally can talk to him at night, i canot concentrate coz am too tired.
hai.
watever. i m gg to slp soon.. pms and moodswing the whole day alr.. i m tired. nothing can cheer me up.
i want kfcmacsicecreamchocdesertscakescreamychickensushilobsterpastaben&jerrys..... .....
AND NEW CLOTHES.
shopping anyone?
SO BLARDY ANGRY..
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO DO NOT KNOW HOW TO USE THE LIFTS!! I mean when u take lifts there are 2 buttons right? If you want to go up then you press the up button, then if you want to go down you press the down button. BUT SOME IDIOTS WOULD JUST PRESS BOTH THE BUTTONS. STUPID PEOPLE STUPID PEOPLE STUPID PEOPLE!!!!!!
sian. jingwen took off today. and i m so super bored during lunch. But lunch mates are quite ok.. still got talk to me and such..
work is boring, they gave me very little work, asked the perm staffs for work, but they seem too busy to care. in the end, ask the other temp staff, he had to keep on squeezing work out for me. it's obvious that he is irritated by me.
sian.
i need buy new clothes but decided not to go alone.........
and bf is out. and no meeting today..
means i wun get to see him til thurs..
3 days of no bf!
3 DAYS!!
3 DAYS!!!!!
the furthest i go is 2 days without bf only....
sian....
when i finally can talk to him at night, i canot concentrate coz am too tired.
hai.
watever. i m gg to slp soon.. pms and moodswing the whole day alr.. i m tired. nothing can cheer me up.
i want kfcmacsicecreamchocdesertscakescreamychickensushilobsterpastaben&jerrys..... .....
AND NEW CLOTHES.
shopping anyone?
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Friday, April 13, 2007
boring life.moody life.
blog coz bf wants me to.
I MET UP WITH ESTHER TODAY!!! =)) we went vivo's marche to eat!! hen hao chi!! still as pretty but a bit too xin fu alr. haha. anyway, real happy for her. she kept asking me bout how are all the classmates doing, but i kept answering her i dont know. coz the only sec sch ppl whom i constantly are in contact with are only buddies and hua, meihui. lol.
With germy at the heerens on tues. miss the girls lots.. esp chi, used to see her everyday for the last 2 sems, but now, i havent hear from her for like weeks? sis and wen got into nus alr. so good.. i want be a undergrad too!
I MET UP WITH ESTHER TODAY!!! =)) we went vivo's marche to eat!! hen hao chi!! still as pretty but a bit too xin fu alr. haha. anyway, real happy for her. she kept asking me bout how are all the classmates doing, but i kept answering her i dont know. coz the only sec sch ppl whom i constantly are in contact with are only buddies and hua, meihui. lol.
things i do when things gets too boring at home. but the ever so wonderful and nice bf says they are UGLY! THANKS HOR.
and the same pic of us.
i m moody. AGAIN. bf is moody too. everyone is moody....
work is boring. home is boring. life is boring.
i m really falling into depression.
i want eat like a glutton but bf and myself say i fat.
i want shop and have retail therapy but i want save money.
whatever, depression can come kill me if it wants to. COME!! KILL ME KILL ME!! LET ME DIE!!!!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
yay yay
yippee yippee ..
blog blog time..
good news!
grandma is OUT OF HOSPITAL!!
yay yay..
yippee yippee ...
as you can see, i m really bored....
just returned from a shopping cum dinner trip with my dearest ah part.
oh.. and an interview at cpf..
e interview was................ nvm.
130 interview and i was still home at 1pm.
have even the time to chat a while with vanes when she called. lol.
msging part and bf all the while...
met partner then shopped..
tt rich char bor bot shoes, clutch...... RICH.
and i got another pair of havis! germ got the red.. and i got the gold coloured slim version!
so nice..so wonderful..so cool....................
but now...
my bf disappeared..
he vanished..
i canot reach him........
i duno he's sleeping or playing his game.... i wan kick him...
and i got nice brownies and nice donuts which i wanted to share...
but... here am i eating all by myself...
so nice.. so yummy....
enjoying e goodies by myself.....
but sharing will make them all yummier.
yest, guess who i received a call from?!!
ESTHER WONG JING JING!
while i was getting hound by a perv in nuh shuttle bus............
but tt's another story...
yay.. esther is back in action..
so good...so nice..so wonderful....
and yest, i saw big sis...
another person whom i haven seen for months..
so happy.. so nice.. so wonderful..
she wanted to pass me present and since i was free thus meet up with her before work..
i thot i could have a nice chat with her at least for a couple of hours...
hary and grace was with her.. which is nice too, i haben seen them for sometime..
but i still couldnt have a nice chat coz another 2 other not likeable ppl were there....
(i m not refering to hary and grace)
watever..
i sat for a while..
which was NOT nice coz i canot chat openly, comfortably, properly..
and i dun wan face the 2 non likeable people..
SO WHAT'S THE POINT?
thus i left.............................
coz i fucking hate one hypocrite!
to national library...
ya.. i rather go library to silent read/rot/slack/stone/be bo liao than face hypocrite
i love big sis.. but i dun need to love everyone ard her.
and i went work half an hour early..
and boss not in.. i chatted with kathy! =)
lovely.. it's another day at home tml.. sian..
y moe hasnt call me yet...
i miss bf............... =(
i dun wan get neglected by the society..
i dun wan belong to the unemployed sector..
i miss my bf... =(((((
blog blog time..
good news!
grandma is OUT OF HOSPITAL!!
yay yay..
yippee yippee ...
as you can see, i m really bored....
just returned from a shopping cum dinner trip with my dearest ah part.
oh.. and an interview at cpf..
e interview was................ nvm.
130 interview and i was still home at 1pm.
have even the time to chat a while with vanes when she called. lol.
msging part and bf all the while...
met partner then shopped..
tt rich char bor bot shoes, clutch...... RICH.
and i got another pair of havis! germ got the red.. and i got the gold coloured slim version!
so nice..so wonderful..so cool....................
but now...
my bf disappeared..
he vanished..
i canot reach him........
i duno he's sleeping or playing his game.... i wan kick him...
and i got nice brownies and nice donuts which i wanted to share...
but... here am i eating all by myself...
so nice.. so yummy....
enjoying e goodies by myself.....
but sharing will make them all yummier.
yest, guess who i received a call from?!!
ESTHER WONG JING JING!
while i was getting hound by a perv in nuh shuttle bus............
but tt's another story...
yay.. esther is back in action..
so good...so nice..so wonderful....
and yest, i saw big sis...
another person whom i haven seen for months..
so happy.. so nice.. so wonderful..
she wanted to pass me present and since i was free thus meet up with her before work..
i thot i could have a nice chat with her at least for a couple of hours...
hary and grace was with her.. which is nice too, i haben seen them for sometime..
but i still couldnt have a nice chat coz another 2 other not likeable ppl were there....
(i m not refering to hary and grace)
watever..
i sat for a while..
which was NOT nice coz i canot chat openly, comfortably, properly..
and i dun wan face the 2 non likeable people..
SO WHAT'S THE POINT?
thus i left.............................
coz i fucking hate one hypocrite!
to national library...
ya.. i rather go library to silent read/rot/slack/stone/be bo liao than face hypocrite
i love big sis.. but i dun need to love everyone ard her.
and i went work half an hour early..
and boss not in.. i chatted with kathy! =)
lovely.. it's another day at home tml.. sian..
y moe hasnt call me yet...
i miss bf............... =(
i dun wan get neglected by the society..
i dun wan belong to the unemployed sector..
i miss my bf... =(((((
Saturday, April 7, 2007
TODAY IS GOOD FRIDAY!!!!!!!!
yay! spent another happy lazy afternoon with sweets....
muacks.
grandma's 6th day in hospital, she's looking good. =D
thankfully..
it's been really nice to be to sit beside her and talk.
*grins
was feeling too bored and started hallucinating bout my future job,
asked sweets if my name's too difficult to rmb by ppl.
he offered to think of a nice english name for me.
just now, i told him over the phone bout the nickname the girls and tb29 been calling me since year 1.
huizi huizi.... hazel hazel..
and now i got the name HAZEL!!
everyone rmb ok.
my bf gave me this name on good friday 2007. he said it's sacred.
i think i m having mild depression...... =(
thanks bf for the encouragments.
gg for interview for cpf board on tues.
yay! spent another happy lazy afternoon with sweets....
muacks.
grandma's 6th day in hospital, she's looking good. =D
thankfully..
it's been really nice to be to sit beside her and talk.
*grins
was feeling too bored and started hallucinating bout my future job,
asked sweets if my name's too difficult to rmb by ppl.
he offered to think of a nice english name for me.
just now, i told him over the phone bout the nickname the girls and tb29 been calling me since year 1.
huizi huizi.... hazel hazel..
and now i got the name HAZEL!!
everyone rmb ok.
my bf gave me this name on good friday 2007. he said it's sacred.
i think i m having mild depression...... =(
thanks bf for the encouragments.
gg for interview for cpf board on tues.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
moodyyy
i m v v moody now.
it's boring at home here.
i went jogging today! 3 rounds around the stadium... and maybe coz of then exercise, i keep feeling hungry today..
i think sweets dont love me anymore..
sadd-ed =(
or izit that i think too much?
or maybe i just need a job..
i think i may have depression.....................................................................
having seaweed now, feel a bit better lor..
i guess no matter how much i changed, whenever i m not happy, i just need my food..
it's boring at home here.
i went jogging today! 3 rounds around the stadium... and maybe coz of then exercise, i keep feeling hungry today..
i think sweets dont love me anymore..
sadd-ed =(
or izit that i think too much?
or maybe i just need a job..
i think i may have depression.....................................................................
having seaweed now, feel a bit better lor..
i guess no matter how much i changed, whenever i m not happy, i just need my food..
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
NO PHONE TIL FRI!
phone spoil... all data gone! not like there's anything impt in there anyway.
not happy day for me yest.
sucks like hell. oh wells...
took momoki out for e 1st time. 'neh.. looks good but no suspension with spoilt gear', the bf said. we cruised ard the neighbourhood a lil before momoki come back to my hse again.
been sending out a few resumes, but not to those jobs search webbies. the idea of working like those kind is putting me off more and more. I want something more meaningful... something valuable to do.
ha. and partially something to keep me normal in the future. whatever that happens to me, i will still be.... normal... and sane.. and i wouldnt lost myself. yea, take it as i m safe-guarding my future.
and i just sent out the application for 'meaningful job' minutes ago, and i don't know if i made the right choice. but parents and bf are all very happy................ i m feeling a bit scared i think, whatever it is, i want to teach those kids.
i miss meiyu. no matter how angry and frustrated i used to feel, or how much i feel like going mad, all i need is a tuition session with her, and i can feel myself again. whether she's willing to listen to me that day, or willling to do the work i gave her, or willing to cooperate with me to sit still, i always feel a whole lot different after that one hour and a half. i m always fastinated by the blank i have in my mind before the tuition and the fulfilling feeling after that. i guess i m missing that now. today i saw the old folk's home opp bf's hse..... i suddenly got this resentment against the stupid diploma to my name.
whatever.. whatever....
phone spoil... all data gone! not like there's anything impt in there anyway.
not happy day for me yest.
sucks like hell. oh wells...
took momoki out for e 1st time. 'neh.. looks good but no suspension with spoilt gear', the bf said. we cruised ard the neighbourhood a lil before momoki come back to my hse again.
been sending out a few resumes, but not to those jobs search webbies. the idea of working like those kind is putting me off more and more. I want something more meaningful... something valuable to do.
ha. and partially something to keep me normal in the future. whatever that happens to me, i will still be.... normal... and sane.. and i wouldnt lost myself. yea, take it as i m safe-guarding my future.
and i just sent out the application for 'meaningful job' minutes ago, and i don't know if i made the right choice. but parents and bf are all very happy................ i m feeling a bit scared i think, whatever it is, i want to teach those kids.
i miss meiyu. no matter how angry and frustrated i used to feel, or how much i feel like going mad, all i need is a tuition session with her, and i can feel myself again. whether she's willing to listen to me that day, or willling to do the work i gave her, or willing to cooperate with me to sit still, i always feel a whole lot different after that one hour and a half. i m always fastinated by the blank i have in my mind before the tuition and the fulfilling feeling after that. i guess i m missing that now. today i saw the old folk's home opp bf's hse..... i suddenly got this resentment against the stupid diploma to my name.
whatever.. whatever....
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
new start.
ah mu's offday today.
spent a really nice day with him.. =) thanks dear.
watched 2 movies. little man and baobei ji hua.
then played need for speed. i dun like tt game but all the while quite addictive.
kept losing thou! have u ever heard of racing then ur opponent found out tt u too far behind then he actually stopped and waited for u to catch up?
ya.. my bf's the one.
i m such a loser!!!
i m liking his xbox more and more.... =D
went eat tt nice nice chicken wing at commonwealth..
he dun find it nice thou....
my bf is one of e most nonsense-cial person i ever met. lol.
ilu. =D
yeaaapp.. met up with my dears on tues.
without sister and james thou.
ya.. been kicked out of FSSP. i m bang zhu no more...
they just wun let me stay. bah.
eh ur better make me membership of the affiliates ok!
la.. ok.. i shall start searching for jobs intensively tml.....
lala.. objective of this entry is to say i spent a really sweet day with bf. ha.. let everyday be like this. muacks.
spent a really nice day with him.. =) thanks dear.
watched 2 movies. little man and baobei ji hua.
then played need for speed. i dun like tt game but all the while quite addictive.
kept losing thou! have u ever heard of racing then ur opponent found out tt u too far behind then he actually stopped and waited for u to catch up?
ya.. my bf's the one.
i m such a loser!!!
i m liking his xbox more and more.... =D
went eat tt nice nice chicken wing at commonwealth..
he dun find it nice thou....
my bf is one of e most nonsense-cial person i ever met. lol.
ilu. =D
yeaaapp.. met up with my dears on tues.
without sister and james thou.
ya.. been kicked out of FSSP. i m bang zhu no more...
they just wun let me stay. bah.
eh ur better make me membership of the affiliates ok!
la.. ok.. i shall start searching for jobs intensively tml.....
lala.. objective of this entry is to say i spent a really sweet day with bf. ha.. let everyday be like this. muacks.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
It's now then I realised that everything was not what I think it is.
blame it on my slow-ness, i am kinda dumb if you realise.
Why is it when everything starts to go smoothly for me and just when i thought i'll be fine and happy and blah...... some imperfection has to come out and crash my happy fairytale?
oh what do you all that?
ya, SPOILER
fucking spoiler. I hope spoiler dont happen and just disappear from the surface of earth. just go away, dont ruin my happy fairytale. you are taking away mine stuffs bit by bit, argh. and the worse is, i canot blame anything for that. like wtf....
even if spoiler does happen, i'll just have to LL and give up my happy fairytale.
LIKE WTF RIGHT?!!!!
sian... i think i m cursed........ just like the fact that everyone thought i know but actually i dont. and like the fact that everytime i eat raisins, i'll find worms in them. Now i got one more thing to add in the cursed list, which is everytime things are going happy and fine for me, there will always be something to come out and burst my bubble.
mum's irritating me everyday. argh.
am i getting emo? gosh, i hate getting emo. esp getting emo while thinking to myself, like wtf!!!!!!!!!!
i m morphing into an emo lian. shit.
blame it on my slow-ness, i am kinda dumb if you realise.
Why is it when everything starts to go smoothly for me and just when i thought i'll be fine and happy and blah...... some imperfection has to come out and crash my happy fairytale?
oh what do you all that?
ya, SPOILER
fucking spoiler. I hope spoiler dont happen and just disappear from the surface of earth. just go away, dont ruin my happy fairytale. you are taking away mine stuffs bit by bit, argh. and the worse is, i canot blame anything for that. like wtf....
even if spoiler does happen, i'll just have to LL and give up my happy fairytale.
LIKE WTF RIGHT?!!!!
sian... i think i m cursed........ just like the fact that everyone thought i know but actually i dont. and like the fact that everytime i eat raisins, i'll find worms in them. Now i got one more thing to add in the cursed list, which is everytime things are going happy and fine for me, there will always be something to come out and burst my bubble.
mum's irritating me everyday. argh.
am i getting emo? gosh, i hate getting emo. esp getting emo while thinking to myself, like wtf!!!!!!!!!!
i m morphing into an emo lian. shit.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
=/
i visited grandaunt today.......
hmm.. wish she will get well soon.
sweets's sick , and i think he's sleeping...
i m still bloated from dinner.
I AM FAT.
SOOMPA I am gg swim tml.
hmm.. wish she will get well soon.
sweets's sick , and i think he's sleeping...
i m still bloated from dinner.
I AM FAT.
SOOMPA I am gg swim tml.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Yay
Ok, I just feel like having a new blog.
so there..
Will still keep the old one coz I like the @, and I dont want to have other ppl using it.
LOL.
And to frens who know this site,
pls dont spread or link it ok.
DONT OKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so there..
Will still keep the old one coz I like the @, and I dont want to have other ppl using it.
LOL.
And to frens who know this site,
pls dont spread or link it ok.
DONT OKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)